[category: politics, humor]
Probably a hungover pilot.
The air defenses over D.C. (which were surprisingly and strangely silent on 9/11) are probably manned by hungover people. Watching them shoot at the hungover pilot would have been pretty funny.
Hang on: Muslim extremists don’t drink. If this had been an actual hijacking, and if our defenders were hungover …. And if the passengers were hungover and therefore failed in fighting back …. Then the non-hungover terrorist pilot, if he (I say “he” because Terrorists are Sexist) had sufficient skills, would have steered the plane into a Very Important Government Building.
Therefore, we must ban drinking on New Year’s Eve. No, we must ban drinking on every eve and every day. For national security.
If you drink, then you hate America.
Hang on: Muslim extremist terrorists don’t drink.
Drink up, America!